I Don't Know Who I Am

I made a comment in my "About Me" blog that I wanted to talk about.

I am a mother of three children and have been a stay-at-home mom since my eldest was born. These past seven years have been wonderful, but I've also faced some hard times. I've experienced loneliness, stress, postpartum depression, self-doubt, and pregnancy loss. My body has changed, and so have I.

"Some days I don't even know who I am."

Being a mom changes you. You are responsible for tiny humans who rely on you for everything. Honestly, I feel bad for even feeling this way sometimes, because I know who I am. I am confident in my purpose and in who God has called me to be. Motherhood isn't just struggles. Motherhood has also brought out the best in me. I am braver, stronger, and oddly more confident. 100% Mama Bear.

Am I the only one who has ever felt this way? Definitely not.

Recently, I went to get a coffee, which is something I enjoy doing for myself. When the barista returned with my coffee, he heard my son screaming (all because his sister was talking to him), and my expression said it all. Perhaps you've made the same face—the one where you're forcing a smile, but your eyes are twitching slightly because your brain is frazzled. The barista handed me my coffee and said, "You got this! I believe in you!" He then continued to cheer me on and waved at my kids as I thanked him with a smile and drove away. You're right, sir! I do have this! Thank you! And thank you, coffee!

Fast forward a week later, I returned to this same little local coffee drive-thru for drinks for my husband and me. This time, I left the kids at home. The same barista was there and remarked, "No screamer today," to which I laughed and replied, "No, but I am going back home to them." He took my order, and I handed him my card and stamp card, which had four stamp spaces left. I only ordered two drinks, so he should've only stamped two boxes. However, he said, "Okay, your card is full." I know he was just being nice, but it's truly the little things that bring encouragement.

How does this relate to me not knowing who I am? It doesn't directly, but I do believe that God can use others to uplift you and remind you of what His word says! This guy doesn't know me or my life, but he took the time to encourage me anyway. And praise God he did, because I needed it.

So yes, I sometimes struggle with negative thoughts, but I'm not alone in this. I have coffee! And most importantly, I serve a loving God and remind myself daily of who He says I am. I seek His will and trust that He has me, even on my bad days.

P.S.

I wrote this blog a week ago and only now getting around to sharing it.

Given what happened a few days ago, my heart just aches. As a Christian, wife, and mother, this has all hit me very hard, as I'm sure it has for a lot of you.

I selected this verse before 9/10/25, but it hits my heart even harder now. I hope it encourages you like it has encouraged me. It's time we rise up!

Ephesians 6:10-18 The Message (put on the full armor of God)

A Fight to the Finish

^10-12 And that about wraps it up. God is strong, and he wants you strong. So take everything the Master has set out for you, well-made weapons of the best materials. And put them to use so you will be able to stand up to everything the Devil throws your way. This is no weekend war that we’ll walk away from and forget about in a couple of hours. This is for keeps, a life-or-death fight to the finish against the Devil and all his angels.

^13-18 Be prepared. You’re up against far more than you can handle on your own. Take all the help you can get, every weapon God has issued, so that when it’s all over but the shouting you’ll still be on your feet. Truth, righteousness, peace, faith, and salvation are more than words. Learn how to apply them. You’ll need them throughout your life. God’s Word is an indispensable weapon. In the same way, prayer is essential in this ongoing warfare. Pray hard and long. Pray for your brothers and sisters. Keep your eyes open. Keep each other’s spirits up so that no one falls behind or drops out.